This week has been filled with so many conversations with mamas at all different stages of pregnancy and postpartum… there’s a common theme and its got me thinking… We are ALL struggling with something. Big or small, there’s something. What if we just gave ourselves permission to feel #allthefeels? Without feeling inadequate, without comparing, without googling…Because pregnancy, postpartum and the transition that’s wrapped up in all of it is A LOT.
Stepping into motherhood for the first time, expecting your second baby, potty training, not sleeping, not taking care of yourself, feeling frustration, resentment, learning how to breastfeed… the stress…. all the stress and worry that comes with motherhood is not easy. In fact it’s the hardest thing ever. We are ALL having those moments, days, weeks when we don’t even recognize ourselves anymore, our relationships, our lives for that matter and it’s OK.
It’s also OK to be scared shit-less as your bump grows, and as you pack your hospital bag. It’s OK to not love breastfeeding even though you thought you would. It’s OK to let your kids see you cry. It’s OK to feel that tremendous guilt when you know your relationship with your first born is about to change. It’s OK to be excited to go to work. It’s OK to pick and choose who you spend your time with because one more conversation about crafting, or ALL the activities may put you over the edge. It’s OK that your jeans don’t fit and you are pissed off about it. Maybe you waited for 3 years to finally fall pregnant and now you can’t believe you are missing your old life, and that too is OK.
Instead of feeling bad about any or all of these things. Maybe we need to just stop and take a second to appreciate what we’ve gone through. Every one of our journeys is different. Motherhood is challenging on a second to second basis. It can push me to my limit on any given day.
In this moment, I don’t even want to suggest to find the good, think positive, be grateful, because we constantly do this anyways. For right now just feels the feels, let it sit for a bit, acknowledge how you are feeling, vent to a girlfriend, have a shower, get some fresh air and a hot coffee and know that you are not alone and you are amazing.
If you are just done with the to do list, the sifting through all the “what to expects”, the unsolicited advice, reading another late night forum that makes you feel like a bad mom, and the mess in your house. Just give yourself permission mama to not care right now. Just for a minute or for as long as you need.
You are doing a great job. Your babies think the world of you, your partner thinks you are a magical superhero and tomorrow will be different.
As my dad always says to me… “I’m on your team”.
With so much love,
Dr. Gillian
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